just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
