Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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