a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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