Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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