what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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