how can u be prego again
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
