he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
