I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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