Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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