I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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