You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
