Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
