so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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