Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
