I want to stick my p in your. b.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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