You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she peed on how many people?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
