just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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