im about as happy as oj after his trial
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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