ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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