sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
