We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
