Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Farmville is her only friend.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
