Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
When are your genitals available?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
