**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
