I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
