I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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