He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize