I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
