I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we made out on top of his cat.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
