when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
