Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
