i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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