no, he came in my armpit
is wine microwaveable?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
