My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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