i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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