hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
