I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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