cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
