the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
