Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
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