he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
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we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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