I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I could fuck to npr.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
