we have pet lesbian snakes
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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