my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
