I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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