I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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