he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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