Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
how drunk are you?
Several
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
