How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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