Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
