Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize