Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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