you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
