it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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