dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
