You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?