My hair reeks of homosexuality.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"