other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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