I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
