Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
