so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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