oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
